


Rashly

by HeatherGiesbrecht



Series: Of the Grandmaster, Loki and Sparky Misinterpretations [4]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anger, Brother-Brother Relationship, Complete, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Nicknames, One Shot, POV Alternating, Post-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor, Slash, Talking, Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Time Skips, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 01:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13893804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherGiesbrecht/pseuds/HeatherGiesbrecht
Summary: Thanks to Sparkles he was angry and the rash had shown up.





	Rashly

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to make the Grandmaster a name that sounded similar to his title, it's in no way canon.

"It's been over an hour, where is my Loki with Spulk ?! Erm, I mean, where's Loki with his stupid brother and my Hulk. Seriously. This isn't fun anymore. I want what was promised me !" The Grandmaster was furious, and itchy. Do not scratch, do not scratch. He hadn't thought it would be a jinx to joke about a rash but apparently it had been. Unless, of course, the Lord of Thunder had not only sexed Loki into hacking the mainframe but also into cursing him. Oh, he was starting to hate Loki almost as much as he did Sparkles and fly people. Though no matter what, he still would've loved to milk Loki, but especially Snaki. A small dose of the Asgardian Cream Belly's venom was said to be a potent aphrodisiac when taken orally due to the snake's paralyzing and pleasure-enhancing abilities. God, he should've guessed something was up three weeks ago when he'd picked up Snaki, who'd almost bit him before shifting into Loki and apologizing profusely. Damn that sexy accent and silver-tongue. Lies, mischief and gorgeousness summed Loki up to a T.

"Actually, screw this, where's my other ship ? Get it ready." Thanks to Loki, he now had no Hulk, no Steak and no 142 to melt. What exactly would happen if one were to coat a Jotun in electrically conductive jelly and set said Jotun on fire ? Lovely screams ? Bingo. What would make the hypothetical scenario even better ? Using Brother-whore to turn the sparks that'd brought Loki so much pleasure into so much pain. Obviously, they'd be together on the Commodore. Sparky Beef was probably moaning as Loki fucked him into the shag carpet right now. That was not how he'd wanted to introduce Loki to his ship, or that carpet, God damn it ! Not cool. At least, he could use the footage for angry masturbation later. Had to catch them first, of course.

\--

"Oh, Granen, what foolish notions have you gotten into your head now ?"

He slammed his fist into the galley table, glaring over it at Taneleer. Nurr, don't scratch. "My name is not Granen anymore ! And how can you call me foolish, Tane ? At least I was doing something with my life, instead of hoarding stupid shit."

"Yes, because hoarding slaves and making them fight for your amusement is any better. At least I was paying mine."

"Ah-ah. They were not slaves, they had jobs and nice quarters." Compared to the low-end Scrappers.

Taneleer rolled his eyes to the rather ironically named Kinship's ceiling. "Simply because you do not like the term does not mean that it was not slavery. Now, what was the little battle I saw earlier about ?"

"Sparkles, that asshole, shot my ship down and killed Topaz after his brother shot down my proposition." Itchy, itchy. Was the rash getting worse or was he imagining it ? Frickle nacks. "I was so close to getting in those leather pants of Loki's then, bam, the Rump Roast rolls in. Turns out it's his brother somehow alive and sharing whispers with him. After that, as they say, everything went to shit."

"Will you stop with the childish, frankly ridiculous nicknames ? Thunder and lightning...or rather thunder and wind." Taneleer groaned, burying his face in a fur-clad arm. "Please, Granen, tell me you had the common sense not to separate the Sons of Odin."

He wriggled in the chair. "Uh, have you seen them side-by-side, like ever ? They don't look like brothers in even the most remote sense. I thought that Sparky Beef, fine, fine, Thor was Loki's whore."

"Yes, I have, and, well, at least you have yet to change. You still see only what you want to see, they have never been romantically involved with each other. Odin sent them, more specifically he sent Loki and Thor tagged along, to deliver a relic to me a few years ago. Thor set to drinking and gambling on the Orloni, when he won the other patrons were...upset. I saw Loki to the exit to find the fight was quite literally in full swing. To summarize a very short, yet intense fight: Someone managed to punch Loki and Thor threw them into space, might I add that this was through two space-proofed windows. As Thor is now King of Asgard I can say with all confidence that you've made yourself an enemy of the Realm. I hope staring at his brother's ass is worth your inevitably getting zapped to Hel."

Wait, so he'd had the traumatic haircut done and worried a fuck-tonne over one little misinterpretation ? Well, this was the embarrassment of the last millennium. "Are you kidding ? That ass is still worth it. Hey, could you, uh, drop me off on Earth, somewhere around, say, Los Angeles ? I replied to this one ad that sounded interesting."

"Ugh, fine but if they come after you do not expect me to save you. I'm still trying to straighten the Collection out after Carina loosed an Infinity Stone on it."

Hadn't Loki mentioned something about a bunch of Infinity Stones turning up on Earth ? Definitely had to check those out if he could. Hmm, wasn't Loki only in his early 1050s ? If he were being realistic such youth deserved a chance to mature. Maybe one of these days Loki would turn up on Earth after getting bored of Asgard ? It'd be nice to have a chance to reconnect without big brothers looming and/or lumbering around. They were still friends, after all, weren't they ? Curse or no curse, he had to scratch the itch. Mm, it felt so nice.

* * *

"Loki, why is part of the screen blinking ?"

"How do you spend so much time around the humans and not know what the signal of an electronic message is ? Even I know what that is. Now, please, brother, move over before you find someway to hurt us. Let's see: Blah-blah, Grandmaster, tell Loki to message me, meh-meh-meh, flowery bligesnipe shit, I apologize for thinking you two were incestuous. What in Hel is he talking about incestuous ? When have we ever done anything to suggest that ?"

"Stark did say he thought I enjoyed muzzling you a bit too much. My talking about that time we had to swim for our lives to keep from being eaten by the kracken and huddling in that cave while naked. Oh, and there was also that time we found the relic at the end of that rainbow. Huh. I don't get it, what's so incestuous about whispering ?"

"Well, it might've had something to do with your seeing me and proceeding to ecstatically shout my name two or three times in a row. Add that to the whispering and his not knowing that you're my brother and you have to admit it is disgustingly sentimental. I know if I heard that brothers would be the last thing I thought of."

"Oh, so you are still mad, then, brother ?"

"As mad as you are enlightened, which is not much at all. You know what, I feel disgusting simply for reading this. I'm just going to delete it and forget he ever touched my chest. I knew I should have cursed his balls to fall off instead of just giving him a rash."

"He did what ?! Give me that."

\--

'Dear Grandmaster the Perverted,

                          I hereby declare you an Enemy of the Realm of Asgard. Should you ever attempt to approach Loki know that I will find out. Should he ever tell me that you assaulted him I will track you down and you will die to the second largest lightning blast in the history of lightning blasts.

                                                                                       The Mighty Thor, first-born son of Odin and Frigga, King of Asgard, Protector of the Nine Realms, Strongest Avenger, God of Thunder and Defender of Loki.'

**Author's Note:**

> This concludes the story of the Grandmaster, Loki and Thor. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.


End file.
